I joined the Air Force ready to serve, ready to give everything for my country. What I wasn’t ready for was the constant act I had to perform. Under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” — the policy that barred gay, lesbian, and bisexual service members from serving openly from 1993 to 2011 — I lived a double life. By day, I was the perfect Airman: scoring high on tests, volunteering for every assignment, working harder than anyone so no one would look too closely. By night, behind closed doors, I was just a young woman desperate to live honestly, to love openly, and to be myself.

The toll was relentless. Supervisors asked why I wasn’t dating men. Fellow Airmen pressed, harassed, and sometimes assaulted. I spent every moment fending off advances while hiding who I really was. My relationships never ha

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