DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve been invited to a casual backyard party for a low-country boil. I’d like to attend and spend time with my friends, but my shellfish allergy means I can’t partake of the food.

Is it impolite for me to bring my own snack? Should I offer to bring a side dish to share? Or should I just eat before the party? My husband thinks I should send my regrets to avoid the awkwardness of not eating the food on offer.

GENTLE READER: Eat beforehand. Alerting the hosts in advance will only make them go into a panic, trying to ensure there is something for you to eat (although there are likely to be non-shellfish sides as well). It may also make them a bit resentful since their menu plans were already in the title of their party.

If anyone asks why you are not eating, Miss Manners

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