TORONTO, ON

Starting this fall, the coach section of every Air Canada flight will come fully equipped with a minimum of one very agitated baby.

“It’s just one more way we can better service our customers,” said an Air Canada spokesperson. “Starting on October first, every passenger will receive a bottle of water, one small packet of pretzels, and seating in close proximity to at least one angry baby.”

In order to make things fair for everyone, the infant will be moved from row to row so-as to disturb the maximum number of travellers.

“If you make arrangements ahead of time, we’re also willing to bring little Dylan or Bethany down your aisle just as you’re about to fall asleep,” said Air Canada. “Of course, for those who prefer, earplugs will be available for a nominal $80 charge. Not t

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