SANTA CLARITA, CA - Creationist parents Matt and Zoey Zimmerman got the surprise of a lifetime this morning when their baby boy came out of the womb wearing a cute little mask on his face.

Jared Elija Zimmerman entered the world this morning at 4:51 A.M., and even though he had evolved into a Covid-immune, mask-wearing superhuman, his father still wasn't convinced that evolution is real.

"Oh, give me a break," Mr. Zimmerman said. "There's no such thing as evolution. This is obviously just a gross mutation. I mean, look at this kid. That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen."

Jared's mom, however, had other feelings.

"All this time I thought God created the universe in six days. But now, now I understand what they were trying to teach me at public school. Humans came from monkeys, and m

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