JACKSONVILLE, NC - After a vote to replace the 30-year-old carpet at Sunrise Church left subcommittee and miraculously passed in the full leadership team assembly, church elders demanded a recount.

The controversial vote to replace the carpet installed during the Reagan administration narrowly passed in a leadership team meeting, 27-26, prompting church elders to cry foul and call for a recount.

"There's some funny business going on here, I tell you what," brother Clyde said. "I heard some of them no-good Russians might have been involved." He claims the move to replace the church carpet has long been a foreign plot to disrupt the church's operations and blow the budget. "The Methodists are probably behind it," he whispered.

The church has had several controversial elections, including

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