Liberal Party: Andrew Hastie’s net zero threat shows why the party is going extinct

The Liberal Party has finally unlocked the secret that has puzzled scientists for centuries: the precise method by which the dinosaurs became extinct.

The lantern-jawed West Australian MP Andrew Hastie’s threat to quit the party if it doesn’t abandon the 2050 “net zero” carbon emissions target, followed by approving noises from various colleagues, confirms the Liberal researchers’ work on the final days of the Cretaceous period is all but complete.

That Hastie chose the very day that Australia’s first National Climate Risk Assessment was released , which predicts something approximating the end of life as we know it if we don’t pull the emergency brake on climate change , is surely the sealant.

The Liberals, to be fair, were granted a head start on the subject of annihilation, hav