WASHINGTON, D.C. - Thousands of flannel-clad, bearded men descended on Washington, D.C. to march in the first annual Calvinist Pride Parade, sources at the nation's capital confirmed Thursday.

Calvinists from across the country came out to support the oppressed Reformed minority in the nation.

The men marched to bring awareness to the existence of Reformed theology. "We're proudly coming out as people who are deeply attracted to God's sovereignty in salvation," said a spokesperson as he marched down the National Mall with a sign that read "Sovereignty is Sovereignty." "If you've got a problem with that, well, you probably can't help it. You're totally depraved."

Activists partook in activities declaring their pride of being Calvinist, like chugging craft beer, comparing beard lengths, a

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