Dear Anna,

I’m a 39-year-old man, married to my 36-year-old wife for 11 years. Last month I discovered she’d been having an emotional affair with a coworker that lasted about three months. When confronted, she admitted she hasn’t felt attracted to me for over a year and that she’s never really felt that “spark” with me, even though we’ve always been best friends who laugh together and rarely fight. She says I’m objectively attractive but just not to her anymore. She’s agreed to couples counseling (which I’d been asking for), says she wants to save our marriage, but also says we’re not emotionally or sexually compatible. We have two young kids, and I’m devastated because I still think she’s amazing and nothing about me has changed — I’m actually in better shape now than when we met. How do

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