LIKE a simpleminded Daily Express reader, Trump advised Starmer to use the military to stop asylum seekers. He also proffered the following advice:

‘Blow up the boats’

I just started blowing up boats, and I love it. The military does all the hard work of finding a boat, then all you have to do is give the kill order and watch the action. There’s no evidence left after so you can say they’re drug smugglers and nobody can prove you’re lying.

‘Fire the experts’

Experts are inconvenient. They tell you you’re doubling the national deficit, that vaccines are effective, that ‘gravity doesn’t work that way’. Fire them all – you can use my catchphrase ‘You’re fired’, we’re buddies – and hire podcasters and TV presenters who like you instead. If they have lunatic belief systems, that’s an advant

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