BILOXI, MS - Sources at Biloxi Seventh Baptist Church confirmed Tuesday that the entire church body is still pretending never to drink alcoholic beverages.

Based on the church's strong convictions, every member of the church is staunchly committed to pretend to abstain from alcohol while in the presence of other Baptists.

"It's important to avoid the appearance of evil," said church member Fred Myers. "That's why I committed a long time ago to never let on that I love downing a few craft beers during a ball game on the weekends." Myers always orders a Diet Coke when with his Baptist friends and family, though he's been known to order a beer on tap as long as he's in another state where no one can recognize him.

Other members of the church share the same commitment. Take Ethel Carver, 82

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