If you’re reading this, we’re sorry: You’re one of the leftovers. Over in the religious corners of TikTok, self-styled prophets and prognosticators have decided that Tuesday, September 23, 2025, is the day of the Rapture—the moment that Jesus Christ will return to Earth and elevate all true believers to heaven, where their eternal rewards await them.

You probably have a lot of questions. Don’t worry, we do too. As best anyone can tell, the idea that the rapture would hit on September 23 seems to stem from a proclamation by Joshua Mhlakela, a person occasionally identified as a pastor but who self-identifies as “a simple person.” He rejects the titles like “apostle,” “pastor,” and “bishop,” but does accept “believer” if you’re so inclined. Whatever you want to call him, he seems to be th

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