How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I am a 47-year-old man and have been married to my wife for 22 years. The problem I am having is that I cannot get it up for my wife to save my life.

I CAN get it up whenever her sister is around (I’ve been discreet about hiding it). To tell the truth, my wife has really let herself go. Her sister has kept herself in great shape all these years, and seeing her is like looking at my wife back when she was hot. I love my wife, but I’m just not attracted to her anymore. Is there any hope of rekindling things?

—Gone Downhill

Dear Gone Downhill,

Definitely keep hiding that boner pointed at your sister-in-law (or you might end up in a situatio

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