Narcissists are known for being abusive, grandiose and entitled. That's why it can feel especially confusing when someone who exhibits all these traits does something kind.

Maybe they take the dog out for a walk, just as they promised. Maybe they drive you to the airport at 4 a.m. Maybe they get you a really nice birthday gift.

It seems too good to be true. That's because, more often than not, it is. "Narcissistic kindness," a term recently spotlighted by renowned narcissism psychologist Ramani Durvasula, is anything but altruistic. In a September video on the term, Durvasula, better known online as Dr. Ramani, breaks down narcissistic kindness, describing it as niceness that comes with a catch.

These acts of kindness when coming from a narcissist, she says, "can start to feel like a poisoned cup, after a while."

Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist and the author of "Healing from Toxic Relationships: 10 Essential Steps to Recover from Gaslighting, Narcissism, and Emotional Abuse," agrees, and she encourages people unsettled by narcissistic kindness not to lose sight of the basics of narcissism: This is a personality style characterized by selfishness and egocentrism. When a narcissist expresses kindness, it's usually either a manipulation tactic or self-serving in some way.

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"A true narcissist will be kind when they need something from you, whether that's attention, whether it is manipulating you to get something," Sarkis says. "There are people that do use kindness as a way to manipulate."

What is narcissistic kindness?

Narcissistic kindness can take many forms, and some narcissists may be more skilled at concealing their real motives than others.

Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author of "If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth," offers the following definition: "It's ego-building disguised as generosity. It's manipulation disguised as caring. It's coercive control disguised as saving you."

Narcissistic kindness makes those on the receiving end feel indebted to the narcissist. Remember, Cole says: "A narcissist's kindness always has strings attached."

Usually, narcissistic kindness also comes in a critical or passive aggressive tone. Think of a compliment along the lines of: "You look great! You should put in that kind of effort more often." Or: "Congrats on the new job! Now you can actually contribute to this family."

The bottom line? "Trust your gut," Cole says. "If someone's 'kindness' leaves you feeling obligated, heavy or uneasy, that's a red flag."

How to cope with narcissistic kindness

One of the most difficult parts of navigating a narcissistic relationship is the reality that most narcissists aren't horrible 100% of the time. Every once in a while they may do something that looks like empathy.

These crumbs of what seems like kindness can keep people hooked on the hope that the narcissist has the potential to change, which experts is highly unlikely.

In order to not be fooled by narcissistic kindness, Sarkis encourages people to view one-off good deeds in the context of someone's overall behavior.

"People with these tendencies can also generally have moments where they have empathy and they are nice, but we need to look at the overall pattern of behavior," Sarkis says. "How often is this person being nice, and what are the factors surrounding it?"

If a narcissist is being kind to you, ask yourself, what's the catch? Or, what does the narcissist have to gain by doing this? If you're a naturally empathic person who prefers to see the best in people, this kind of reflection will probably feel uncomfortable − but it's essential.

"I know asking yourself these questions is going to feel like you're being a 'bad person,' but remember that you're not the one who's weaponizing kindness here − they are," Cole says. "You're simply trying to keep realistic expectations so that you don't become unexpectedly exploited."

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Narcissists can be kind. Don’t be fooled. ‘Narcissistic kindness’ is not what you think.

Reporting by Charles Trepany, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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