A nation that does not know its history is doomed to do poorly on the SAT.

With this harrowing warning in mind, we would do well to review at least the basics of U.S. history.

Otherwise, we — and here I am speaking to those who have long forgotten what the SAT even is — may just end up repeating it.

In the beginning, there was gold. There was not a lot of it, and most of it was underground.

This did not prevent scores of people of the Columbus phenotype from trying to hoard as much of it as possible.

The trouble with gold is that in large quantities it really does get very heavy, which probably explains the invention of the closed-toe shoe.

After Columbus, there came the closed-toe-shoe-wearing settlers, many of them to Jamestown and Plymouth, which were just far enough away to not a

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