NEW YORK, NY

One of the nation’s top perfumers has just released a new scent, aptly called New York City, which is believed to be the first perfume to emulate the unmistakable musk of the Big Apple.

“We’ve captured Times Square in a bottle,” said perfumer Brittney Olga-Klassen. “Literally. We had our team out there scooping up whatever they could find .. and we’ve bottled it.”

For decades, visitors to New York have been greeted with a waft of urine as they walk city streets, but now that distinctive aroma has been supplemented with the smell of weed on every corner.

“And we’ve got both scents in one,” said Olga-Klassen. “It’s a two-for-one deal or, if you prefer, the ‘All Dressed chips of perfumes.’ The scent will instantly transport customers to Midtown or the East Village.”

The team

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