U.S. - Experts solemnly warned the nation that it may be too late to stop the 7-hour climate change town hall scheduled to air on CNN tonight.

Despite humanity's best efforts to stall climate change town halls by long-winded, self-important politicians, the event appears to be rapidly approaching. No one has been able to come up with a plan to stop it, and now there's a scientific consensus that it's inevitable.

"We have reached the point of no return," said one expert grimly as he took a shot of something from a flask. "We have less than 12 hours before the Democrats do irreparable damage to our sanity by talking for seven full freakin' hours on television."

"The only thing we can do now is say goodbye to our loved ones," he added. "And maybe tune into something else, like HGTV or some

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