HARVARD, IL - With the crisp days of autumn approaching quickly, apple orchards are preparing themselves for the onslaught of families ready to fill their baskets with ripe fruit. Apple picking has become more than just a growing trend, and scientists warn that this year's influx of visitors is expected to reach dangerous levels.

"Every year it gets worse," says sociologist Ian Andrews. "And without question, the vast majority of visitors come from white suburbia, something like 98.8%. We're not sure what the draw is, but these folks come out in droves. We're warning orchards everywhere to get stocked up on wagons, wooden cartoon cutouts, and of course apple cider donuts. If these things aren't in place, there's no telling what kind of riots could break out."

Experts note that among thei

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