TORONTO, ON

Hundreds of locals stormed out of the Toronto Disunited Mennonite Church this week after they showed up for what they thought was going to be Game 1 of the MLB playoffs.

“They told us they’d have the Blue Jays and even promised to provide the sunflower seeds,” said angry sports fan Andrea Bergen, “but all we got was a seat on a wooden chair and a view out into the parking lot. I got suspicious when they handed out a pair of binoculars and a notepad.”

The church, apparently, has a nice collection of trees and a whole flock of blue jays, robins, and magpies.

“Sometimes a crow or two even shows up,” said Pastor Pete. “It’s very exciting for us here at the church. We always make sure to keep the windows squeaky clean for blue jay watching parties like this.”

Pastor Peter says

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