WINNIPEG, MB

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers have decided to do a great service to the community by winning the Grey Cup every afternoon around 4 pm just so that pedestrians will have access to Portage and Main.

“We’re determined to make this happen. Sure, we may have the Jets pick up the slack during the spring, but otherwise, don’t worry, Winnipeg pedestrians, we’ve got your back,” said quarterback Zach Collaros. “No need to use that underground walkway. We’ve got it covered!”

The Blue Bombers say that winning the Grey Cup every day of the year is a tall order, but with Demski and Harris on the roster there’s nothing to worry about.

“They’re Winnipeggers themselves, so they know how important opening up Portage and Main is to the community,” said Collaros. “And if they have to play in a ch

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