U.S. - No longer able to keep up with the endlessly fluid definition of the word "woman," Merriam Webster has elected to replace the traditional definition of "adult female person" with a more open-ended "shrug" emoji.

"For goodness sake, it's 2022," said company president Greg Barlow. "Who uses words anymore, anyway? Do words even mean anything? Not anymore! By defining words with a 'shrug' emoji, we allow the political party in power to define these words how they see fit. Progress!"

According to Merriam-Webster, the word "woman" is just the first of many new emoji-based definitions in the works. Starting next month, for example, "drag-queen" will be defined using nothing but a "heart" emoji, while the word "groomer" will be defined with a beautiful multicolored "pride flag" emoji.

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