U.S. - Declaring that "the future is female" and that they would "no longer bow to toxic male faux-dominance," Americans on the left of the political spectrum solemnly vowed Saturday to topple the Patriarchy once and for all by allowing biological males to dominate all women's sports.

"The Patriarchy needs to be smashed, women need to be empowered, and men who identify as women need to be active in women's contact sports!" one Portland LGBT activist told reporters. "Once every single female sport in America is utterly dominated by biological males who identify as women, the criminal hierarchy of men utterly dominating all aspects of life will be broken---this is not hard!"

"Not allowing men who identify as women to participate in women's sports is patriarchal oppression, and probably tra

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