BAD people can be attractive, and that poses a problem for the ethical masturbator. Examine your conscience before constructing a wank fantasy around these hotties.

Michelle Mone

Michelle is awful; she cheated the public during a deadly epidemic then did everything she could to hang onto the cash. But she does look good in a swimsuit. If your conscience is struggling with this wank, remember she’s a Daily Mail favourite and visualise thousands of retired old gits tugging away at their ancient PCs. Your sexual urges will abate, possibly permanently.

Stalin

The young Joseph Stalin was undeniably hot. In the famous picture of him aged 23, his luxuriant hair and hipsterish neckerchief make him look as if he’d take you to a bar in Shoreditch rather than a gulag. Yes, a mass murderer who kil

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