Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here .

Dear Prudence,

I just found out something horrible about my friend. Her dad is her mom’s son. That is, she is a product of incest. She casually mentioned it one day when we were at book club. Do I break off her friendship? She is lovely and has kids of her own with a lovely man, whom my husband and I are friends with.

—Not Loving the Lineage

Dear Not Loving,

You’re acting as if she committed the incest. She didn’t do anything, so why would you cut her off? But actually, if you’re feeling this level of judgment and disgust toward her, unreasonable as it may be, it might be best to take a step back from the relationship. She’s been through enough and doesn’t need fries who think she’s awful because of something

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