Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I married my husband, “Ben,” last year. Ben has two girls, “Wilma” and “Cathy,” who are 3 and 5, respectively, from his first marriage. This is my first marriage; I don’t have any kids of my own. Ben wants to have a child with me, but after dealing with his kids when he has custody of them—it’s a 50/50 split—I have realized that I do not want to do this.

The girls are undisciplined tornadoes, and he delegates most of their care to me. They are only with us half the time, and I am wiped out! I cannot imagine dealing with a baby while trying to care for Wilma and Cathy if Ben is going to be such an absentee father. (From speaking with his ex, I have

See Full Page