Dear Eric: My same-sex spouse (of many years) and I have been invited to my niece’s wedding. My brother, his wife and their children belong to a religion that is disapproving of marriage equality, and this religious group is actively working to take away marriage equality. We will not be attending the wedding. I am not close with this niece or her family (we are in different states, and of different states of mind), and I am not feeling inclined to send anything other than a card. Is it wrong of me to simply send them a card of congratulations on their marriage, and not send a material gift?

– Gay Uncle

Dear Uncle: A card is just fine. A wedding gift is not a requirement, especially if you’re not attending the wedding. A card, too, is a courtesy. You don’t really have to send anything if

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