WASHINGTON, D.C. — With support from voters and donors dwindling in the wake of his highly publicized poor debate performance, President Joe Biden announced he had solved his campaign's fundraising woes by becoming the new mascot for Sleepytime Tea.

Biden, who hoped the new endorsement deal would help shore up lagging donation numbers as the presidential campaign enters the home stretch, said his partnership with the tea brand was a natural fit.

"I was born for this job," Biden said when announcing the deal. "While people give me a hard time about falling asleep during meetings with… meetings with state… state heads… with head states… heads of… those folks in the meetings, my ability to fall asleep in my chair makes me the perfect mascot for… for… mascot for… Medicare… I'm sorry… Sleepyt

See Full Page