ALTONA, MB

Seven Mennonite grandmas from Altona were taken into custody by authorities this Monday after a massive stash of knitted hangers was discovered in the lobby of the local MB church. It was the largest bust of knitted hangers since the infamous Linden, Alberta incident back in 1976, which sent more than thirty people to the slammer.

“We were tipped off by a local Lutheran woman, who happened upon the knitted hangers while at the Mennonite church for an afternoon faspa,” said Altona police. “Quite frankly, I was shocked when I saw them. Fifty, sixty knitted hangers just hanging there out in the open. They weren’t even trying to hide them.”

The knitted hangers are considered a flaunting of wealth and unnecessary comfort in Mennonite communities, many of which have outlawed the kn

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