Disgraced TV chef Paula Deen said she "lost it all" after admitting in 2013 she'd used the N-word decades earlier, RadarOnline.com can reveal.

In a new documentary, Canceled: The Paula Deen Story , the former Food Network star recounts the firestorm that erupted 12 years ago after she acknowledged she'd used the racist slur in the past.

In a tense interview on her press tour, the biscuits-and-gravy poster gal confessed the aftermath of the revelation, and the implication that she was racist, "ate at my gut every day." Article continues below advertisement

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The admission she had used the slur came during a dep

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