WASHINGTON D.C. - Disaster has struck Congress, as President Joe Biden has fallen sideways in the main Capitol hallway and become stuck, blocking all Congressional business. Congressional staffers heard Biden gibbering incoherently, so he seems fine other than the fact that he's stuck.

"Has he tried standing up?" Representative Jerry Nadler suggested.

"Yes, he's tried!" Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi answered. "But has anyone tried kicking him? Like kicking him so hard in the back he spins a bit and becomes unstuck?"

"I was kicking him, but it didn't work," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.

"We have to destroy the walls and then he'll have room to become unstuck," Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stated. She then pulled out the hammer and sickle she always carries

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