DEAR ABBY: Both my parents had birthdays days apart and near a holiday. About 35 years ago, they started a tradition of having an elaborate party on or near their birthdays. My siblings and I were grown. The guests were their friends, and we were mostly bored out of our minds.

As we married and had kids, we were invited to our own friends’ holiday parties but were made to feel extremely guilty if we tried to skip our parents’ party. The older they got, the more they expected us to set up, cook and tear down.

Dad got sick a couple of years ago and recently passed. The parties had continued even though Dad could barely stay awake.

Mom, age 85, still insists on keeping it going. Fewer guests are attending due to age-related issues. Some can no longer drive. The problem is, we do all the wo

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