It's midnight on a chilly October evening. Somewhere, wrapped in gold-plated pyjamas that would make a pharaoh envious, Donald Trump is scrolling through Truth Social, rage-refreshing the Nobel announcements, convinced this is his year. He quaffs cokes and caffeine, waiting for Santa to put that shiny medal in his stocking for... what, exactly? Bombing Iran? Unleashing tariff terrorism? Self-promotion?

But, alas, Santa has other plans. The 2025 Nobel Peace Prize does not land with a thud in Trump’s golden stocking, but rather in the lap of Maria Corina Machado — the fearless Venezuela warrior who has outmanoeuvred dictatorships, fought tirelessly for democracy, and put her life on the line for true peace.

Machado, Donald Tantrum, did not campaign with endless self-nominations or

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