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It seems like every telecommunications company in the world has gone WOKE! Not good!

How can you call your spouse or leave a voicemail for your grandma without supporting a woke corporation? Here are 10 surefire methods:

Carrier pigeon: We're pretty sure the pigeons haven't gone woke... yet.

Use two cans and a string: Then maybe you can build a vast network of cans and strings! Just don't get them tangled.

Fire your AR15 into the air in morse code: This is how people in Kentucky have communicated for centuries.

Hollerin': Also the preferred method in Kentucky, for people too poor to own AR15s.

Rearrange the wooden letter signs in Hobby Lobby to form a message: Then pray fervently that your intended target walks in and reads it before the worker

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