How Relationship Harmony is Maintained

Key points

A duet cannot produce harmony if the musicians try to play each other’s instruments.

Relationship harmony ceases when we try to regulate our emotions by controlling our partners.

Empathy rests on illusions of sameness, making us intolerant of the differences that produce harmony.

We become better people by growing beyond the limitations of personal experience.

Relationship partners are like musicians in a duet. They can make beautiful music on their own, but together they make something better than either can do apart. They make harmony .

To maintain relationship harmony, we must:

Self-regulate (play your own instrument)

Maintain integrity (of both instruments)

Foster compassion, kindness, appreciation, and respect (the chords of love)

Enhance intimate connection.