Hi! Welcome back to the Trash Report, your latest spin on news and gossip and whatever other stories were optimized to land in one of my feeds in a way that compelled me to say "hmm, I bet I could write something funny about that." Isn't it interesting that the stories that work best for The Trash Report are the ones that come about on the nights I'm not in charge of my child's bedtime and get a quiet hour to stare at my small rectangle with a glass of wine? It's a science, this writing thing.

Let's see what the algos have given us this week, okay?

The federal government has been shut down for nearly two weeks because the Democrats have finally realized that there is zero benefit to compromising with Republicans and are refusing to pass a budget unless healthcare subsidies are back in it

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