by Anissa Durham

This article is part of “On Borrowed Time” a series by Anissa Durham that examines the people, policies, and systems that hurt or help Black patients in need of an organ transplant. Read part one and two. This story is copublished with The Markup.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Craig Merritt asked himself the same two-word question:

Why me?

Trapped in a dialysis chair for four hours at a time, he’d watch his blood be removed, cleaned, and recirculated back into his body. After three years of this routine he started to wonder: Will I ever get a kidney transplant? Or will I die waiting for one?

“I believe there are good spirits and demonic spirits. I wrestled and dealt with demonic spirits,” he says. “The thought of suicide came. Taking myself out.”

At an arm’s l

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