Study Finds Jews Are Always Cool And Nice And Their Bagels Are Great Too [This Post Sponsored By Israel For $7,000]

U.S. — A new study has just conclusively proved that Jewish people are always cool, their bagels are great, and Israel is number one.

[ Ed. This post was sponsored by Israel for $7,000. ]

According to several respected scientists, the study found that Jews are the bee's knees, so to speak, and that their yarmulkes are flippin' sweet. Also, they're the best, and they make terrific challah bread.

"Our results clearly show that all Jewish people, especially those in Israel, are just terrific," Levi Benjamin Mendelbergsohn told the Babylon Bee. "In a choice between bacon and Jewish people, survey respondents picked Jewish people every time. We're really very nice, and it would be so great if someone could spread the word."

Other facts that the study determined about Jews are that they ar