Sport is about winners. Victors! Champions! Title-holders! GOATs!

The theory about how the Premier League became the biggest league in the world is that Manchester United’s overwhelming era of dominance created a vehicle for the most mildly interested to get behind. You don’t need to figure out who Fulham are at any point, if you just know that the main guys play at Old Trafford, if you back them you’ll often be happy, and you can namecheck Nicky Butt.

So it makes sense that every competitor and every sport should now distinguish itself in the grandest possible terms. A case in point: I was doing some prep for telly about a bike rider recently and went to check how he described his latest achievements over on Instagram. My eyes slid down the bio to ‘World Champion 2024’. What?? I’d misse

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