CHICAGO — To reduce spending, the Chicago Police Department has reportedly introduced a new policy where they tape off locations that aren't murder scenes.

"There are so many murders happening on a daily basis that its occurred to us it will be a lot more efficient and cost-effective to tape off the areas where there haven't been murders yet," Police Chief Lawrence Matthews explained. "Going forward, if you don't see police caution tape, just assume it's an active crime scene. Please watch your step."

Chicagoans expressed delight at the news. "It makes getting around the city so much easier. I used to have to cross several crime scenes to get to work, now it's all just one jumbled mess of death," said local tire salesman Sean Haven. "Plus, now I actually get excited when I see police tap

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