CHICAGO, IL — The world around a local man seemed to grow even colder and dimmer as he expressed feeling that his Christian love for humanity had been shattered after he took a trip to the airport.

Traveler Ryan Kanter said he felt good about the world and mankind in general just prior to leaving the house for his trip to Florida. Upon arriving at O'Hare Airport, every shred of hope he had felt vanished within moments, leaving him despondent about the state of human society.

"May God's wrath rain down upon every one of you," Kanter was heard muttering as he made his way through the terminal. "What a wretched world this is. Look at the human refuse littered around me. Where am I? How have we fallen so far? We used to be a real country. Dear Lord, have mercy upon us. Oh, sweet Moses, here'

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