This story is part of the October 19 edition of Sunday Life. See all 13 stories .

A few years ago, my application for a pay rise had been declined and I was livid with rage. Didn’t my boss see how hard I was working? Hadn’t I been on the same salary for years while others seemed to leap ahead? In the heat of my anger and disappointment, I was certain the right thing to do would be to quit my job immediately. That would show them!

But then I took a breath and wondered, would the only person damaged from that rash decision be me? According to the ancient Stoics, the answer is yes.

When you look objectively at a bad situation, it is shocking the amount of hurt you cause yourself by acting out of anger or through a hurt ego or pride. The Stoics call this a second suffering. The first s

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