When Cheerleading Your Child to Do a Hard Thing Backfires

Key points

Cheerleading a child to motivate them to keep trying when facing a challenge makes a lot of sense in theory.

For highly sensitive kids, this kind of encouragement can backfire, increasing rather than reducing stress.

They feel anxious about their perceived failure. Cheerleading conveys they're disappointing their parents too.

Validating their experience and giving them space to work it through is often most sensitive and effective.

In my work in the trenches with families, I gain insight into the underlying meaning of a child's behavior and what they need to overcome a challenging situation or difficult feelings.

Often, what ends up being most sensitive and effective is counter to popular parenting strategies, ala this common scenario: Parents finding that when they chee