BLUMENORT, MB

After months of speculation, the Winnipeg Jets have revealed that 22-year-old superstar Patrik Laine and his seven million dollar a year salary has been traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights of the Hanover-Tache Hockey League.

“Everyone thought for sure he’d be going to the Grunthal Red Wings,” said local hockey commentator and radio personality Dave Anthony. “But Blumenort offered a first round draft pick and a ten percent off coupon for the Penner rafter shop, so that was a deal no one would pass up.”

Laine is really looking forward to lacing up for the Menno Knights, just as soon as a Plett or Penner floods their backyard and builds a rink this winter.

“I mean, he was already scoring thirty goals a season at the NHL level; just imagine what he can do with that Kornelse

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