How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I am a happily married, 50-year-old woman, but my love story is a little odd. I was working as a phone sex operator and fell in love with a caller, and he fell for me as well. For financial reasons, I had to keep taking other calls until he could move in. He was really jealous about that and insisted many times that I probably enjoyed the calls, and that I could tell him if I did. But I tried to keep telling him: I didn’t! It was work, drudgery, acting, and though I was good at it, I seldom enjoyed it. When I did, it had more of a friendship feel than anything sexy.

Fast forward to him moving in and me giving up the calls with a sigh of rel

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