When I saw images of the East Wing of the White House being demolished to make way for President Donald Trump’s big, beautiful ballroom, I could barely contain myself.
It’s happening, I thought. The president is finally acting on the one issue that matters: BALLROOM!
All my life, I’ve been a single-issue voter, and that issue has been to find a president with the courage and good taste to rip apart some of the uggo White House and attach a 90,000-square-foot, gold-forward, glass-walled ballroom that overshadows the so-called People’s House.
Images of the White House being demolished for a ballroom? Huzzah!
Well, on Oct. 20, as construction workers used massive machines to violently demolish the East Wing facade, I finally felt seen. It was everything I had ever dreamed of, and more, like something out of a fairy tale: A historically ballroom-less building, long a central symbol of American democracy, was being torn asunder by a failed casino owner who previously promised the new construction would not impact the White House.
“It’ll be near it but not touching it, and pays total respect to the existing building, which I’m the biggest fan of,” Trump said in July.
Hah! Excellent dissembling, sir. Every great ballroom begins with a fantastic lie!
Historians, critics oppose Trump's ballroom, but what do they know of grandeur?
Ballroom-averse critics are predictably hollering about the construction.
Robert Sutton, a former chief historian of the National Park Service, which stewards the White House and surrounding property, told the BBC that the agency has not reviewed the ballroom plans or vetted the architect.
“This building is so important,” Sutton said. “It's considered, I think, to be the most important executive building in the world – yet we just don't know what's happening, and I think that's very inappropriate.”
Booooooo! What’s happening is America is getting a marvelous new ballroom, and that’s all that matters.
Costs are going up, and funding is murky. A perfect ballroom backstory!
The project is off to a perfect start, with The Washington Post reporting that “Trump originally estimated the project would cost $200 million to build but has since upped that to $250 million.” (All good ballrooms have dramatic price overruns.)
The president claims the ballroom is being funded entirely by donations, which I believe without evidence, as I’ve certainly never known Trump to lie or engage in dodgy backroom agreements. And besides, who cares? WE’RE GETTING A BALLROOM!
For so long, my dream has been for the White House to have a ballroom
When I first walked past the White House at age 7, my parents had to comfort me as my eyes welled up with tears and I, unable to raise my voice above a whisper, asked: “Mummy and daddy, why is there no giant, gaudy ballroom?”
Since that day, my vision ‒ the sun around which my political beliefs have orbited ‒ has been this: An exterior wall of the White House’s historic East Wing gets ripped to shreds by a twice-impeached convicted felon serving his second term in office, all to make way for a $250 million metaphor being built while the federal government is shut down and many workers aren’t getting paid. The construction will involve a sprawling ballroom with towering ceilings, gorgeous chandeliers, seating for 650 people and gold, gold and more gold! And it all happens without oversight by preservationists or a lick of input from the American people.
Folks, my vision is becoming reality. America is getting a fantastic Trump-approved White House ballroom! What could be more important than that?
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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: I'm glad Trump is demolishing the White House to build a ballroom | Opinion
Reporting by Rex Huppke, USA TODAY / USA TODAY
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