THE migrant removed from Britain under the one-in-one-out scheme said ‘Guess who’s back!’ to border forces on his return, lightening the occasion with a little humour.

The Iranian national, who was deported back to France on 19th September, had officers in stitches when he quipped, ‘I just couldn’t stay away!’

Border Force officer Tom Booker said: “I thought I recognised a face, then he said ‘Wait, this isn’t Britain again, is it? When will I learn to map-read?’ and we shared a laugh.

“‘Just wanted to check you’d not changed your minds,’ he added as we put him in the van, and ‘Well, you can’t say I’m not persistent!’ Say what you like about the UK’s buggered asylum system, he’s looking on the bright side.

“Even at the detention centre he’s all ‘We must stop meeting like this!’ and ‘Ter

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