SALEM — I cannot stress this enough: Going to Salem around Halloween is not worth it , even for a really cool-looking Dunkin’ — unless you want to know the face of true fear.

In this case, “true fear” is a legion of Ford Explorers circling parking lots. It’s a zombie hoard of tourists in matching T-shirts pushing baby strollers and looking down at their phones to see where the “Bewitched” sculpture is.

I braved the snarled labyrinth of traffic, the financially charged riddles of parking, the eldritch horrors of the worst tourist traps this state has to offer.

All I got was the same menu you can get at any Dunkin’ location. I also got the chance to poke a piece of plastic slime decoration to be 100% sure that it was AI-generated or photoshopped into an image for Instagram.

I’ve been

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