WILMINGTON, DE — President Donald Trump announced this morning that he has officially replaced the entire federal workforce with one single teenage Chick-Fil-A employee.

In a move expected to drastically improve the efficiency of government services, sixteen-year-old Bryan Sanders of Wilmington will take over the jobs of all 3 million current federal employees starting on Monday.

"With Bryan's work experience running the drive-through at Chick-Fil-A, we expect his taking over three million federal jobs to be seamless," said Trump's Chief of Staff Susie Wiles. "We believe Bryan will also provide a massive upgrade in terms of how pleasant it will be to interact with government employees. He is just so darn polite."

Sanders will remain enrolled in high school and plans to squeeze in doing

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