Earl Charles Spencer, younger brother of the late Diana, Princess of Wales, originally planned a “very different” eulogy than the controversial speech he ended up delivering at her funeral nearly 30 years ago, he told a British podcaster.

Spencer jumped onto a redeye to the U.K. from his then-home in South Africa after receiving the devastating news of Diana’s death in a Paris car crash in August 1997, he told Gyles Brandreth in a Friday edition of the host’s “Rosebud” podcast. “ I was in bits ,” he said.

Seeking someone fit to eulogize his sister, Spencer was stumped after rummaging through his “big thick address book” and called his mother from Heathrow Airport to admit defeat, saying, “I’ve got an awful feeling it’s going to have to be me.”

He said his mother noted the hunch

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