MINNEAPOLIS, MN - During local man Derrick Peterson's morning Bible reading in the book of Romans, the man's head tragically and spontaneously exploded, sources confirmed Thursday.

Investigators are attributing the tragedy to the intense, soul-thrilling theology contained in the book, which has been known to blow people's minds since it was written by the Apostle Paul.

A neighbor had spotted Peterson through a front window, sitting at his kitchen table with a shocked expression on his face, exclaiming things like "Oh man, this is insane!" and "Incredible! Absolutely bonkers!" as he read through several chapters of the book for his morning devotional.

Shortly after reading verse 33 of Chapter 11, "Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgm

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