Dear Abby: Our granddaughter, “Amy,” who shows in 4-H, decided to take her stepdad’s last name when appearing at the fair. Our son, her father, is a big part of her life. This is the second year in a row she has done this, and it hurts me and my husband deeply. Her mother, stepdad, and his family think it’s great. Our son has no backbone and won’t stand up to Amy’s mother or put his foot down about the situation.

We tried talking with Amy. She said she will go by her stepdad’s last name and doesn’t care how we feel. We love her very much. Her stepfamily’s name is no more important than anyone else’s, but they think it is a big deal.

After Amy answered the way she did, we told her we will no longer support her at the 4-H fair. She is at the impressionable age of 14. My husband and I agree

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